into the morning

This morning I woke up. It wasn't anything new or exciting. It wasn't something life changing. It was just the simple process of rapid re-establishment of conciousness, and slooooow re-establishment of alertness.

I woke up and instead of going through the usual motions of wondering why I was a bit cold, why my legs were sore and why my alarm hadn't gone off (because I hadn't set it, that's why,) my mind was on a different wavelength.

My mind was still trundling on, replaying the dream that had been gracing me moments earlier, and as I rolled over, half awake, smiling to myself at how the mid morning sunlight filled my all-white room and made everything look so much lovelier.

I couldn't get to sleep the night before and it had been frustrating me, I was missing the feel of someone next to me, I was missing the feel of someone stronger and braver holding me and protecting me through the night. It's nice to know that when you wake up to face the world, you're not facing it alone.

But sleep had cleaned that slate, I woke up fearless and light and happy and all sorts of lovely things, I knew that today was going to be a good day. Not dramatic, not life changing, not huge, but the kind of day that makes going to sleep that night so much easier, because only good dreams can come from it.

As I woke up, I was reminded of good things and good times, waking up in love, waking up to someone's warm and gentle kisses, to flowers delivered to my door by someone I care for, to fruit and yoghurt and blueberry pancakes. Although this morning I woke up alone, I woke up in love.

It's not new love and it's not love for a person. It's love for possibilities and potential. For the simple chance that one day, very very soon, somebody will be waking up alongside me, and see the things I saw, and feel the way I felt. Maybe he'll be waking up to a warm body and soft kisses and the feeling that maybe, despite everything, it would be a good day.